From Austin to Oz. I'm planning to flee the country for 7 months - working for 4 and traveling for 3.
Departure = 03 Sep 2003 / Re-entry = 03 Apr 2004

Thursday, August 28, 2003

A friend just sent me this snippet from a forwarded e-mail that I am positive will arrive in your Inbox soon:

--- "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. So, today I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a small box of chocolates and a quart of Ben and Jerrys. ............ You have no idea how good I feel. ---

Quite timely, as I am in a lethargic, 7-day rush to finish packing, finish mailing, finish errands, finish books begun long ago, . . . finish many things that I began recently or eons past. I want to leave to Australia with the lack of feeling haunted by what I did not do. Why is the catharsis of completion an addictive drug? Why do I measure accomplishment by what I have completed and what remains to be done? Why do I insist upon thrusting meself along a linear path parallel to the calendar aside my computer when I know that my Life is a ocean of jumps, leaps, stumbles, and falls amid the nongravitational nebulae of connected, unconnected, polyconnected and concentric events that happen with or without my active participation? When do I learn my role in the tome scribed by Chronos?

To my deathbed, I will carry thoughts of projects non-completed, thoughts non-developed, and friendships not as profound to my satisfaction. Futile? An endless run in a hamster wheel? Of course, the only two ways to prevent such thoughts would be to finish everything that I started or never to start anything. The former has its adherents among people that I know, as does the latter. I would waste my entire life compelled to complete everything, yet, I would never begin my Life if I never began anything. The conundrum.

Me, I feel like I run with cupped water in my palms thru the desert; I begin with great intentions that somehow evaporate as time continues.

My potential energy is fathomless; my kinetic energy fades exponentially.

There will always be things to be done.
There will always be intentions.
There will always be what is not.


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